Good day fairies!
I will have you know that my name is John, and I must register my distaste for you post haste! A great many of you are obese characters of little regard who spend much of their leisure hours looking at worthless reproductions. If you will allow me a flourish of hyperbole: you are all that is wrong with our dominion! Tell me sirs, have you ever lain with the fairer gender? It is diverting to make jest at others on account of your own flaws of character, but your kind take this sport to higher plane. This is even worse - dare I say it - than the commission of acts of self-lust whilst ogling likenesses from facebook.
Don't cease correspondence however. In fact, launch any attacks that take your fancy. I'll have you know that I was captain of the first eleven, and lead man on the Elersdale row. What competitive exuberances do you enjoy, other than shaming yourself whilst lustfully apprehending etchings of oriental women? I have received firsts in all my studies, and am currently enjoying the exclusive company of a most exquisite young lady (She recently gorged herself on my member; events were SO splendid!). You are all great whoopsies and you would be well minded to end your lives! Thank you for your time.
The attached photographic piece is related to our correspondence: It depicts myself and the fair lady.